#TBH I DONT THINK MUCH CHANGED HAHAHA

[ashipiko]

🫶 drew my #1 muse a couple nights ago

[squilko]

messy doodle of my mlp au redesigns again... with slight alterations...

some ideas under cut..

rarity… crystal pony (ties into why spike is obsessed with her but not in a weird way he just thinsk shes cool… shes moved several times… her parents fled the crystal empire with her when she was a babby… then she lived in canterlot.. wanted to open a boutique there but the competition was too intense so she moved to ponyville.. she had encountered twilight once or twice before so she recognizes her when they meet in ponyville

twilight… not much changed tbh but she has a stunted horn so she actually has a difficult time doing magic so she studies it really hard to compensate… treats spike NICELY. more like a little sibling than a SERVANT. spike is very clingy and hides under her legs a lot cause he gets a little shy… gets more social once they move to ponyville cause ponies r a ltitle friendlier… he befriends the cmc and is like. one of them basically they are his friends… he also walks on all 4s cause he was raised by ponies… spike has hijacked my twilight message… she wears a little bag..yeah..

APPLEJACK!!!!!!!!! i love her. ok. shes basiclly the same. she more so takes care of her family tho… shes actually older than big mac and hes still way bigger than her but she still calls him bitty mac cause its her baby brother. ok * bursts into tears * i dont think i changed anything else..

raaaaaainbow deash… originally named lightning dash before she did the rainboom… her hair was originally blonde… the rainboom permanently dyed it tho… she still reaaally wants to become a wonderbolt but she hasnt yet because she has poor eyesight and they disqualified her from joining cause of it… her goggles are perscription HAHAHA… scootaloo still looks up to her… rainbow and her have a heart to heart cause rainbow is like well even tho ur different u can still do things !!!! and she shows off her goggles and pts them on scoots and scoots is like woah it looks all funny… and then rainbow is like YA i cant see well lol… the rainbow crash nickname reaaally gets to her cause before she had ehr glasses she would bump into things and the otherkids would tease her :(

fluttershy is batpony from BEGINNING. um. other than that shes like exactly the same AHHAHA. she wears a little cloak thing to cover her wings… she got it from rarity.. pinkie also ahs the saddle cloak thing from rarity.

pinkie is just pinkie except she puts on clown makeup... she wears rollerskates a lot

[just-some-random-blogger]

I just want a morpheus x human!reader smut where morpheus has her bend over on his throne/the table from the library and he's taking her from a behind position and she just have to stay quiet I'VE BEEN THINKING OF THIS THE WHOLE WEEK PLEASE

Over It

Dream of the Endless x Reader

Summary: You got into a fight with Dream, and you were so over it. He, on the other hand, was so not.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: Fem!reader, PWP tbh, smut (dom!dream, he kinda takes out his anger out on her, make up sex ig, vaginal penetration, praise kink), pov shift, angst ig, typos, etc.

A/N: olright MINORS DNI HAHAHA I COULD NOT GET BACK TO YOU BECAUSE OF MY MILLIONS REQUESTS (im not complaining im just dramatic) AND MILLION ASSIGNMENTS (i am, in fact, complaining) i hope youre still ok after weeks of thinking about this and weeks again for waiting for me to reply HAHHHAHHAAHHAH i dont even remember when this wound up in my ask. anyway, let's go! i hope you like this filth procured for you. reader is the exact opposite of quiet though LOLOLOL Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9

He counted the seconds of your silence.

295,201

295,202

295,203

It had been three days since you have spoken a word to him.

And for what? Because he gave your boss nightmares? He deserved it. He was cruel to you and your co-workers. You should be thanking him over the fact he broke the pathetic man that he had no choice but to resign.

Yet you despised him for his course of action, and he has been awaiting an explanation as to why.

But you have not spoken a word to him still.

That was about to change real quick.

I walk into my apartment, and dropped my things like clockwork. After a long day, all I wanted to do was take a shower, but when I twirled in my spot, the next thing I knew I was face to face to the King of Nightmares, staring down at me from his throne.

"Take off your skirt," Dream said.

I look at him, bewildered, flabbergasted, disgusted. How dare he speak to me like that when I just decided I would make amends with him when I got home. I scoff, "excuse you? What did you just say to me?"

I felt the throne room shift. I felt it darken.

"You have not spoken to me in three days, girl," his multi-layered voices echo in the expanse as he rises from his throne. He walks over to me, steps heavy, "because you look down on my judgement."

Dream's face is dark when he comes up in front of me. As much as I knew he wouldn't hurt me, the mortal in me quivered in his presence, especially as his command that I strip repeats in my mind. I play it off by crossing my arms.

"What wisdom do you think you hold against my endless existence?" he cranes his neck down at me as his hands slide down the curve of my bum, "I am tired of your petty resolve."

Although my body was reacting to him, and I knew that he was acutely aware of how my pulse and breathing picked up, how my body heat ignited, I clenched my jaw and moved my face close to his, "you wanna know why I'm so pissed?"

I involuntarily reach out for his shoulders when his fingers drop to the ends of my skirt and begins to hike the fabric up.

I cannot withhold my gasp at his actions.

"Enlighten me, mortal," he mutters with a rumble.

I bite my lip tightly when he massages my thighs roughly, nails digging into my flesh.

My mouth goes ajar and I throw my arms around his shoulders, whimpering at his actions. I was suddenly so aware of how touch starved we've been of each other, and how much I actually missed him.

As I dig my nose into the crook of his neck, his familiar scent invaded my senses. Whatever anger I felt changed gears into need, into hunger. I could not help my broken resolve when I find myself needing to admit, "I missed you."

Dream snuggles against me as one of his hands make its way to my core. He sighs at the wet heat and basks in the whimper he pulls out from my lips, "I know."

Then the next moment, he pulls back and pulls me away. He pushes me down, face forward on his throne; both my hands prop on either side of the armrest.

"But I asked you to confess your sins to me," Dream says, eyes narrowing as I looked at him from over my shoulder.

In an instant, my nose flares along with my anger.

He recognizes the deviance. He tilts his head down at the challenge, "speak now, or my punishment will only worsen."

I scoff and move to turn to him, but he hinders me by my hips.

"I did not tell you to move."

"You ruined our project, Dream."

His lips press into a thin line.

I furrow my brows and chuckle dryly, "Because we had to change project heads, the whole damn project was postponed until further notice," I sigh, feeling my emotions get the best of me as my breathing flares, "it's inconsequential to me, but a lot of my coworkers work on commission and they had to scram for work because of how abruptly the project basically ended."

I clench my jaw at his expression. It does not last though. I am not immune to his glassy blue eyes and immortal kicked puppy expression. The satisfaction I felt in that moment begins to melt into pity when I see the heavy guilt build on his face.

I release a sigh, along with all my anger, "Dream..."

"Although it is clear my choice of action was not the best," he mutters, fingers digging underneath my clothes, "I still would have haunted that imbecile's mind for causing you distress."

Dream brings my panties down. I feel it drop to my ankles. I mutter his name out again.

"Instead of a punishment then," he starts, as I release a moan when he begins to rub my core, "consider this an apology," he says as he leans in and pushes my hair off to one side, "if my beloved allow me to show my remorse."

I drop my head as I close my eyes, letting out strings of incoherence as I feel him tease my entrance, "oh, go-- yes, Dream," I whine under my breath.

He brings both his hands to my bare bum and rubs my skin 'till it's particularly warm.

The next moment, I let out a lewd noise and grip the armrest tightly when he sheathes himself.

He begins to rock into me in a slow and steady pace. I gulp at the sound of his breathing.

I arch my back and release more moans when he reaches for my breasts. He grunts, excited by the sounds, "I've missed your sweet noises."

When he straightens back up and latches on my hips again, I give him even more noises, louder, needier, "so lovely," he purrs, "do I make you moan like this?"

"Yes," I whimper, "obviously--"

He lets out a velvety laugh.

My feet skid on the floor when he picks up the pace.

"Fuck, Dream," I grunt, "so good."

His chest puffs at the praise, "mmm, tell me more," he readjusts his grip, "tell me how I make you feel."

I stretch my neck as I rack my brain for words. My pants grow heavy as I let out broken cries, "so nice, so full, so good, sooo good, Dream, so good."

For a moment, it is only the words 'so good' and the sound of slapping skin reverberating in the hall.

Dream is exhilarated by the incoherence of his usually verbose and well-spoken lover. He adores how limited words were in this moment. He much more loves it when all you could say now was his name.

"Dream," I whine helplessly as he quickens his pace.

His hand sneaks between my legs, playing with the dripping slick as he rubbed his fingers on my sweet spot.

I squeal and clench around him. He wrangles my squirming form with his strength as he effortlessly keeps his breathing level, all while managing to murmur, "such a good girl."

My arms begin to falter in its place. My knees begin to buckle. My stomach begins to coil. I say his name out again and he says my name in response, as if to soothe me.

The pressure within me builds and builds. I reach out my arms for something, for nothing, as I feel myself grow delirious while I chase the feeling inside me. I call out his name. My voice hikes up and down at his minsitrations.

Dream is attentive of my whole being, he makes sure that he is ready for my undoing.

When I finally come, I nearly shoot forward, as my arms were rendered fucking useless, along with my legs, and my neck, and well, my entire body.

Much like always, Dream manages to keep me up and on him as he pounds into me, chasing his own release. My spit nearly spills from my open mouth when I feel his heat spill inside me. My toes curl at the sensation, and soon enough my limp body finds some form of strength as Dream stills.

He allows me the courtesy of catching my breath before releasing his hold on me and withdrawing himself.

I am unsure if he physically does it or with his powers for I'm still too fucked to really remember how I ended up on his lap while he found his spot on his throne again. At least he thought to fix my skirt.

I was angled a bit to my side. His arms were around me. He leans in when as I nuzzle against his neck. He turns to me and takes my appearance, brushing hair behind my ear, smiling softly at the unkemptness, before pressing his lips onto mine.

It was only then I realized how stupid I was for depriving myself of his kiss out of spite. He got that right, I was a petty mortal indeed. Oh well, at least that got him to fuck me on hi-

"I have missed you too, my dear," he brushes his nose against mine when he pulls away.

I nod, placing a hand on his cheek, "I'm half-sorry for ignoring you."

My body faintly bounces when he laughs, "only half?"

I fiddle with his collar, "well, you bent me over on your throne because of our fight."

"Hmm," he narrows his eyes, pulling me close to him, "and you would chose to upset me instead of simply asking me to bend you over where you want me to?"

"Well..." I lick my lips, sighing, "... it's not the same."

He laughs again, the whole of the Dreaming does, "perhaps you do require a punishment after all."

[smashstiel]

idk i dont wanna add it to destiel playlist cuz its . super depression song but . a morning spent thinking of a life without you. bruhhh . im connecting flatsound songs to destiel bc im heavily depressed again and i love flatsound and connecting songsto destiel is the best thing ever . might make a separate depression destiel playlist tbh nsbsndnsbc

angst destiel playlist?! oh god. oh godddd. i might not survive that one . i need it

also. hi. what the hell <3 and you thanked me for curing you for saving your life when you thought nobody could and remindijg you that people are woth loving. ever since i pulled you out of hell knowinf you has chsnfed me. i cared about the whole world becsuse of you. you changed me dean . but im left with s knot in my chest ssking why this feels so much like leaving. why does it sound like a goodbye. and letting go. i love you too cas.

im normal about it! <3 haha letting go - i love you. hahaha.

[f0point5]

Hi, brazilian here and new to F1 so sorry for my ignorance haha just leaving my two cents on the gossip. (Don't even know if its just a thing in my twt tbh)

Senna's tribute happening in Imola right now. Max was at the front row but one of the only ones who's not wearing a green and yellow shirt. Don't know the reason, saw a few comments about him and checo being late, but checo is wearing the shirt.

Thing is, people are talking about it cause they felt a little disrespect (not my opinion yet, just explaining the situation). The majority of the comments are like "max didnt want any problems with his father in law".

My opinion now:

Piquet has a beef with senna, always has, he still talks shit about him even after 30 years of his death. He will never get over how Senna is still remembered like the nations hero and idol alongside Pelé by everyone, while he just remembered by f1 fans (as a racist too of course). But I think Max gives zeros shits about it, hes not that kind of person from what I gathered, even find it funny how people would say that. Its a little weird that hes standing out like that, i dont see any politics in the matter, dont see why he wouldnt want to wear. Just don't wanna say too much shit cause I don't know anything, just what I felt.

It probably isnt even a big deal, but as a brazilian I kinda think it is for us hahaha

I don’t think Max gives one singular shit about whether Nelson would be upset about the Senna shirt. He’s actually said before that he and Nelson don’t talk much about F1, I don’t think your girlfriend’s dad is going to have much bearing on how you go about your life regardless. Nelson says a lot of shit, none of which Max has ever said he agrees with, I think it would be very strange if this is how he chooses to show allegiance to someone who by all accounts he doesn’t know very well (sure it’s Kelly’s dad but even if he’s been to Brazil more than the public is aware, they probably have not spent a ton of time together to be genuinely close).

Maybe Max was cold, maybe he didn’t feel like changing his shirt just to change back, maybe he got the shirt delivered before the event and he just forgot it at home. Who knows. I feel like there’s probably an innocuous reason and people are blowing it out of proportion because they think these drivers are automatons who exist only for the entertainment of spectators and not humans with lives outside of what we see.

But yes, I agree with you I don’t think is so concerned about Nelson’s opinion that he would pitch a fit over a shirt.

[diodellet]

So many good options for the art appreciation asks but let's go with 3, 4, 13, 14 and 27.

hi hi ner! thanks forda qs!! these are all prettie incharestinge!! (<-girlie who didn't know she'd be Yapping-Yapping)

3. and 4.) Go to [fandom] tag and reblog some art you like that has under 100 notes ++ Go to the art tag (or similar) and reblog some art you like that has under 100 notes

noted, i will undertake this mission with great care 🫡🫡

13. What are your go-to Ao3 filters?

ok i have a confession, i used to be a sort by word count++completed works only++exclude crossovers-kinda person 🤧🤧ANYWAY that was changed, now i only really exclude chat fics (ahaha,,,,theyre not really my go-to genre, like sure they're amusing but i read a really good one once* and it ruined every other chatfic for me)

*this one's for u haikyuu-natics, esp team captain stannies

hm.... i'm not super-duper picky so most of the time i can just scroll through each work's summary and tags.

but if a fandom is popular (or if i dont have the spoons for sifting through works), i stick to just reader inserts HAHAHA, maybe oc x canon if there haven't been any new x reader fics and if there's rlly nothing oough ig i have to write her myself 😭😭 sometimes doe, the curiosity strikes and i'll try looking if there are any fanfics in filipino... i really find it interesting to see how a chara's dialogue reads if theyre speaking in tagalog (tbh i think one would have more luck finding filo socmed aus on twt? but i only know about haikyuu socmed aus)

14. Best fanfic tropes ever?

oH...there are too many... u can't make me choose the best out of all my faves that's unfair 🥺jk lol

i read* this jamikali fic (i like my ships with a bit [read: a LOT] of tragedy/disaster-ness to them. it's so so so compelling to read!) and i just love the "Dubiously Unrequited Love" tag. bcs yes, the feelings are technically mutual, but there is a whole slew of other factors keeping the relationship from being a thing, which it could be a thing, but there's also that awareness that it won't last, sometimes a couple doesn't have to be endgame for the love to mean something, ykw?

this entire oneshot series....has me in a chokehold... my introduction to "Non-Sexual Intimacy" (and "Non-Sexual Nudity" i guess?) like??? holy shit??? the tension?? the way op just encapsulates the poignancy of being in such a vulnerable position without teetering too much into the cliche of roëmænce it has me On My Knees!! (like i love my smut and romance cliches, but some days i jus want a liiiitle bit more spice and variety)

Shoutout to the "Unreliable Narrator"++"Ambiguous Ending" combi that reaaaaally makes you work for understanding the plot, idk how to word it but being able to leave Just Enough Breadcrumbs and having enough trust in your readers to Get what ur implying, also forcing me to reread the fic immediately is so foul (in a good way). like there's an enjoyment in a good satisfying read, and then there's the Itch of never being sure in your interpretation, the feeling that u just need to go over it another time, spot another detail u missed, get wrecked all over again, rinse and repeat. idk i love fic.

27. If someone wanted to make you a creative gift, what's the thing that would make you the happiest?

oh anything featuring my fave charas is sure to make me happy! i mean i'm just not super picky abt gifts. well, maybe a creative gift has to be smth that can last a long while? (a strong hoard-ability kaya idk im senti??)

as long as the thought and intent was there, i'm already happy enough🥰💕💕 but i guess in the context of getting fic gifted to you, probably what matters most to me is that the writer enjoyed the process of making it as well. (i'm kinda drawing off of my experience writing this fic for one of m'oomfies and the vdays drabbles*** so i could be just rambling who knows?**)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[louissatturi]

Ok so, hello, new Ordem Paranormal fan here, I'm not Brazillian so I apologize if any of my questions are stupid, and if you do not want to/don't have the answer to any of my questions, I will not be offended. I've just finished O Segredo Na Floresta (That ending man...fuck) and while I know some spoilers from later campaigns, I generally don't know the context around them. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I have way too many questions, so feel free to pick and choose. 1. I've noticed that the artist between the second and third campaign changes, or at least I think that's the case because the styles are incredibly different. I'm assuming that it's because Cellbit wanted more realism, but I was curious if that was it or not because I can't really find anything on my own (the wiki, sadly, doesn't seem to have pages for the artists :() (I'm just curious about this, I like both art styles) 2. Have you ever had a llonguet or coxhina? Not entirely related to Ordem Paranormal but they mentioned those foods a few times so I was curious as to how good they were, they both look good tbh 3. It only gets worse from here doesn't it. (This next question is more so Desconjuracao and Calamidade than either of the ones I've watched) 4. I know about the relics, do they all work differently? I mean, yeah they do but like, the human in that body dies when they take over, right? But like, can they make the body immortal or does the body still age? I assume not with the God of Death because...yeah just saw that, but it could still decompose I guess. Idk, the relics fascinate me and I'm really excited for Desconjuracao to get translated 5. How many times does the system change? Because the first campaign was a d6 system, the second is a d100 system, but the wiki says Ordem Paranormal is a d20 system. Does it get more finalized by Desconjuracao? Or will it take til Calamidade for me to see the current system? I'm really hoping the rulebook gets translated someday, I'd love to play or gm, and I'm curious as to what campaign would be a good reference for what it might be like. 6. Do you have a favorite character? I don't have many people to talk Ordem Paranormal in depth with so I'm curious as to what other fans opinions are. Also, are there any characters that generally people really dislike? 7. Not sure if you read fanfics or comics, but do you have any you'd recommend? Even if it's for later campaigns I could put it on the backburner, I'd love to see more fanworks than what I've found on my own Ok so, that's a lot so I'll stop asking stuff for now, thank you so much for letting me ramble hahaha

1- well you are a minority because people really hate the old artist (Rafael da Hq) well it was changed because the new artist (Orenjiro) did beutiful fanart and cellbit decided that he would do the art for ordem ever since! (Minus o segredo na ilha, that was bonees), but the main reason why the fandom does not talk is because he did tracing and was exposed for pedophilia, also i did not know that there wasn’t any wiki pages for the artists like what? They maybe will do some soon!

2- because of your grammar i unfortunaly dont know what you ment by what you ment by llounguet but i already had many coxinhas in my life lol, they are a pretty popular "salgado" (salty food) and i really like it, the ones filled with chicken are the best (i mean its pretty rare a coxinha be anything BUT filled with chicken but WHAT EVER), i hope you get to taste coxinha, is pretty good

3- Oh honey, you didn’t even get to see the worst deaths in ordem paranormal history lol

4- i mean you won’t get much about the calamity relics since they are more important in calidade but basicly the human body that the relic is inhabiting dosen't age and is pretty much imortal (unless other relic kills it) bur when the human body of the relic dies, they just poof like the human body dosen't exist anymore and they go to another human to continue doing their elements Jobs

5- Oh honey the only season that they play 100% from the ordem paranormal rpg rulebook is sinais do outro lado, this system had a fuck ton of changes and rewrites especially because the comunity was very involved in it

6- Oh i have a bunch of them but my main favs are liz and my baby joui 💜, so the fandom is fascinating because the character can be very loved with a very toxic fanbase but also very hated with a bunch of toxic haters (joui's case lol) but most of the time the really hated character's are from the villans side, mainly npc's but this hatred is generely only really prevelent for character's with players when the season is airing yk? But for me is kinda hard to tell witch character is the most hated for all fandom because it really depends on your fandom circle because is pretty commun to get a bunch of comments of "OMG WHY DO YOU HATE THIS CHARACTER" for pretty much evey character in ordem

7- about fanfics... i unfortunaly don’t have much recomendations because i do not read much ordem fanfics (especially because the fandom is kinda dead right now and all ordem ficwritters became spiderbit/guapoduo ficwritters) well the fanprojects are kinda dead right now unfortunately, but there is official comics of ordem paranormal that adapt the first season and the first part of season 2 translated to english that you can buy it officially in e-book form! I also have a project for myself in adapt ordem seasons in manga form (and rewrite some stuff that dosen't make sanse) and make a silly self indulgent fanfic adding two oc's of mine as character's living the happy horror's that is the ordem paranormal universe, but i little idvice if you want to see ordem content

Go to Twitter, there is more people there the here unfortunaly

I hope my answers helped and any questions just hit my ask box!

[omghallucinations]

I dont think you mentioned but who are ur biases in kpop? And groups u stan? Bias wreckers? :3

I'm def a multi and I feel like there are tiers that change constantly (gemini vibes) like

tier 1 (current ults) --

ateez (bias wooyoung, wrecker mingi, one true love hongjoong although tbh I can talk myself into any of the members being any of these at any given time)

(g)idle (bias soyeon, wrecker kind of yuqi but no one beats soyeon for me (she also is in my one true love line))

tier 2 (committed to) --

stray kids (bias og hyunjin, but I've been fully wreckedDDD so bad by lee know who is also one true love line # 1)

itzy (bias ryujin wrecker yeji)

izna (bias saebi wrecker koko)

tier 3 (I was into them when I was in hs and have a soft spot now) --

bts (bias j-hope wrecker taehyung)

twice (bias jihyo, wrecker jeongyeon)

blackpink (bias jennie wrecker lisa [scorpio moon club members])

red velvet (bias seulgi wrecker joy)

tier 4 (I listen to their music a lot and know all the members altho not super well yet, in my heart I know it's only a matter of time before they zoom to tier 1 or 2) --

enhypen

txt

zerobaseone

no committed biases yet but I have bias leanings towards the enhypens whose charts I've done so far hahaha (jay, jake, sunghoon), zerobaseone hanbin (fellow gemini with a water moon) and txt all the scorpio moons (mood)

tier 5 (i listen to their music and know the members' names but not their personalities as much) -- lesserafim, ive (yujin has a scorpio moon so she's my default bias), aespa, new jeans

tier 6 (I listen to the music but don't know all of the members yet, potential to gain ground) -- seventeen, riize, kiss of life (not conclusive bc there are a lot more this is just what's on my playlist right now)

and as a gemini i reserve the right for this to change insanely over time lmao. to be honest I can talk myself into any member of any group being my bias for a bit? esp if I've looked at their charts recently, sometimes seeing a chart will make me imprint on someone.

my scorpio moon club so far -- ive yujin, twice jihyo, txt beomgyu, txt taehyun, txt hueningkai, blackpink jennie, blackpink lisa, gidle miyeon, seventeen vernon, maybe zb1 jiwoong (tbh this seems likely to me, I'd wondered if he'd had a scorpio moon way before I looked up his chart), maybe txt yeonjun (seems less likely to me)

[almondmlkbtch]

keeping out of binge territory — personal reminders & ideas that have helped me

- 1-2 “maintenance” days for every -3500 deficit mark (minimum)

- “maintenance” day = anywhere from -800 to -500 deficit for me. i am usually trying for -1000+ deficit daily. i get discouraged if i do a real maintenance day (zero deficit) that’s the sickness in me lmao. aiming for a couple days of -500 deficit— usually enough to satisfy me & get back on track if im really feeling like binging. that is subject to change tho lol.. depends on how hard im going with fasting & exercise.

- remember to incorporate more volume meals like salads, veggie bowls, etc. — in general & especially when feeling a binge coming on. sometimes i forget that this actually helps. im hungry i think, im gonna binge, nothing will help. binging is such a helpless feeling. but even if i just sauté some broccoli or veggies with egg whites— the difference it makes. you’d be surprised. before you surrender to a binge, at least try to make something healthy to eat.

- max 1 meal or snack a day that includes calories which cannot be counted (so no take out, only certain foods from work like salads, etc) in GENERAL keep to calories that can be counted so home cooked meals only, small exceptions like salads or tiny snacks can be made in emergency if afraid of binging, lol. i will fall into the trap of eating things i cant count and this puts me in “fuck it” territory with counting calories. which leads to binging because i could be under calories or over, idk bc idk what’s in that salad dressing or half a sandwich or whatever it is im eating bc i didnt take the time to prep my lunch for work

- similarly ^ minimize processed foods — 1 item per day max— … protein bars/snacks lead to binges, are not as filling/satisfying during binges, they just make things worse tbh

- HYDRATE — need to hydrate to feel ok when cutting cals AND fasting AND exercising. up the Powerade zeros, vitamin waters, gatorade zeros, etc, whatever it takes, have a variety on hand

- food diaries !!! this one is SO important to me— rly what my blog is for— tho i have more extensive entries in my notes app. it’s a huge part of manifesting. without it i dont think i’d have the confidence to continue when things get difficult— but also it rly truly helps you get past challenges when you actually think through things & reflect. like what is holding me back rn? why did i feel like binging today? or did i not— why is that? did i eat more fat? did more carbs in the morning help me get through the shift without eating as much? what is helping/hurting? so helpful. any time i stop journaling i really come up against more challenges.

- make a list of foods/meals want to binge on & come up with a healthy replacement version i am going to do this tonight probably & post some ideas

- also ^ variety in food & meals — get creative — again, makes it fun, distracts from eating less

- prep healthiest meals of the day to eat at work & show it off.. lol… this one is sick but it’s just such a high to eat something healthy to eat during a shift and everyone see.. and i work in a cafe sometimes my coworkers will giggle at my tiny meals/comment on healthy they are.. it rly helps. but i gotta start to do something that’s not just a yogurt & carrots, like i need a whole ass salad or something filling, i been tempted to binge at work lol. this one is specific to me hahaha i just rly think it will help

- practice mindful eating — ig this should be at the top of the list LMAO but i have a hard time sticking to this every meal. when im eating at work on break it’s my only chance to take my mind off work so i tend to go on my phone while i eat. but getting in the habit of this is sooo helpful, even if just one mindful meal a day. enjoying my meals helps me feel satisfied and start my fasts from a feeling of abundance. and how you start a fast is really important i think to sticking it through. if you start it feeling like you didn’t eat or can’t eat, you won’t finish it, or you’ll be slogging through.

✨ short list i wrote out for myself today. i got off track after 2 binges one of which had me in -500 deficit which RLY hit my confidence and made me wanna get off track. i wanna keep going and challenging myself but i realized i gotta be smart if i wanna sustain my faster pace. it’s nice that i went so long without binging but, if u have a fast pace with stuff like this, it’s easy to get ahead of urself and get into binge territory. these r some reminders that help me keep on track, still be able to challenge myself while also being realistic abt how much i can push myself✨

[seelestia]

OMG THE NEW NAVIA THEME IS SO CUTE??? i think it's safe to say that you definitely cooked, lia hehe >:3 /lh /gen

anyways! that's pretty much what it is when it comes to college and frankly? i just wanna get it over with like literally the only highlight to it is seeing my friends and spending time with my boyfriend 😭 but!! a social science major sounds cool! i'd say you have some pretty good goals set in mind and you can always take up a minor if you want to pursue the others :> (i did consider having music as a minor) and sure! the courses depend on what you pick really and the college/professor, online is just about the same as in-person if you have a lot of reading on a pc to do tbh. english classes are well. kind of like the ones in high school but college-leveled. just make sure you give yourself enough time to do assignments bc they can be painful :"D

HELP LMAO??? okay that's true though, the fontaine quest definitely made a splash and we really had to dip our toes in the water with it huh? anyway thats kind of the thing, the only similarity between bedo and lyney is that they actively flirt with me in their own way, and its funny bc i usually try to find someone whose personality complements mine bc im generally the quieter one compared to both (ah yes a reality tv show for me HJEKAHD) also yea! i think both of them really do have traits that make them stand out and frankly i wish they got more screentime (also i have yet to watch the 4.6 trailer ehehe)

same here to you!! i'm always happy to rattle off of your hcs and i enjoy talking about our selfships as well hehe (*^ω^*) and i love it when bedo calls me his "sweet violet",,like the way he says it is just so endearing? like the pitch of his voice always becomes softer and more affectionate jsjdksndj (yk its funny, my boyfriend does the same thing with me bc his nicknames are unique to me as well)

also i'm throwing another ramble at ya: imagine wanderer or ayato surprising you with breakfast in bed HEHEHEHE

awh thats oki! like i said, i'm always happy to indulge your selfships since i enjoy hearing about them :> /gen. honestly i wouldn't be surprised if wanderer did knock you softly on the head for thinking the flowers were from yato ajjdkshd (nah just put the hairpin in before he gets a chance /hj /lh) also i forgot to tell u im a sucker for floriography so i methinks wanderer could give you camellias which represent everlasting love. the hairpin ayato gives you is unique in design and had it specially made for you alone :3

and i quote from my irl friend: "bouncing off the walls gf x completely stoic unmoving statue bf" HDJAKDHSJ NOT ONLY THAT SHE COMPARED HIM TO A PIECE OF FURNITURE BC OF HOW STIFF HE IS IN PICTURES (but hey i give him credit for a cute smile <3) and he is very much a pretty boy even though he tries to deny it until i accept that he calls me pretty too BUT YEA QUITE LITERALLY OPPOSITES ATTRACT anyway pretty much, not all relationships are like yk. sunshine and rainbows so thats why i feel very grateful to have a healthy one. if anything, we're just both trying to do our best to make one another happy but thankies hehe (also nw! i dont think u sound like a grandma, i just like hearing u ramble ehhehe)

also im not rlly sure why ppl think 20 is old either like dang, sure my back hurts on occasion but i'm not a fossil 😭

AHHH THANK U, VI!! so it seems you agree that i... baked? :3c /lh HAHAHA navia is so sweet and silly. i just have to make her my theme! (++ as a homage to her for carrying me in spiral abyss 🫣) since i do put in effort whenever i do theme changes, it makes me happy to know others like it <3

i'll have you know that i'm a true enabler of dad jokes & puns. throw 'em at me! which reminds me: how does albedo react to your jokes? for me, ayato just thinks it's funny that i find them funny (he pats me on the head afterwards - A+ for effort). wanderer is just the epitome of unimpressed and sometimes, he'd even pull on my cheek a little if the joke is extremely unfunny LOLLL. the only one who'd ever indulge me is mr. shikanoin heizou ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡) oh, woe is me!!! /lh

i see! ty for the perspective, vi <3 i'm gonna find it nostalgic to look back on this convo after i went to college. tho assignments really are a staple of uni life, huh? one of the times i thank highschool for instilling the habit of “work first, play later” in me. i imagine it's gonna be more painful however so i'll need to juggle rest & work 😭 hope you're holding up with yours!! <3

THAT'S CUTE!! i find it so funny that albedo himself is the paradigm for introverts but when it comes to flirting with people he finds intriguing, he's not here to play LMAO. how does he act 〜suave〜 so naturally?? smh i need those skills too /hj. lyney on the other hand... he takes it as an achievement if he manages to fluster you! the sleight of the hand is his bread & butter but he's good with his words just as well, no? voila! ✧ i am biting my fist UWAGHH. i am head over heels for the 'speaks to you / says your name in a softer voice' thingy but to witness it first-hand??? i'm so happy for you 🤭

WWHWHWHWH. ayato usually has the maids prepare our meals so he probably tells them to make it extra special. unfortunately, i'm more of a night owl than an early riser so by the time he brings the tray onto the bed, i'm just looking at him all groggy LOL. he thinks it's cute, taps my cheek and teasingly asks if this is all a ruse to get him to spoon feed me.... this man /aff. wanderer tho is a good cook so he does not play around with food or breakfast! but it's gonna take lots of coaxing to have breakfast in bed since “if it spills on the mattress, i'll demote you to the floor for a day.” i tell him about the existence of trays but he's still adamant. no fun 💔 /j

CAMELLIAS?! those happen to be one of my fav flowers!!! and the meaning too... i'm ahhdjwjejw /pos. he would tho!! wanderer canonically like wandering off in nature (oh, dearest sumeru), i think he picks flowers to bring back home. but sometimes, he'd rather observe them from afar: they're fleeting, after all. so he might as well leave them be to bloom to their fullest. yk.... i should buy some seeds these days and make a garden of our own. maybe it could be a surprise for him oooooo mhm mhm!! wbu?? does albedo or lyney indulge in making you breakfast in bed too hehe :3c (for lyney, i'm willing to bet lynette sponsored that breakfast /j)

NOT THE FURNITURE POSE HAHAA 😭

“smile!”

vi: 🌸🌷🎀🩷

bf: 🚪🚪🚪

/j but we appreciate the effort!!! i'm also not vv photogenic myself so i can relate badly with the furniture pose LMAO 😔 i prefer taking pictures of others instead! ayato is really photogenic. this is what happens when you deal with paparazzi /j & wanderer can be photogenic too but only in candid. he does not like staring at the camera. what a grumpy cat /aff +++ i saw the picrew you sent me! VI IT'S SO ADORBS AHHHH feel free to share more picrews of you & your f/o's anytime! i love love love them ☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱ა /gen !!!!

[nekomanager]

SINCE ITS TETSUREIII SZN!!!! I AM HEREEE WITHHHH TEH A LITTOL Q/A EHEHEH

WHERE DID ALL THIS BEGINNN FROMMM !!! TEH FRIST PAGE OF TETSUREIII STORYYY <33

TELLL MEEEEEEEE EVERYTHINGGG!!!!!!!!

For how it all began:

It was love at first sight for the both of us. Like you see a person and you just fit like missing puzzle pieces. We talked like it wasn't our first time seeing each other. The crowd just faded and it seemed like it's just the two of us. We knew we would never forget that moment but we have to part ways. Days or months passed maybe even a year and it became just a distant memory. Maybe something I drew an inspiration from for my story, until we met again at a different circumstance. This time it's no longer a one time thing and he won't allow it to be a one-time thing either. We just picked up where we left off and we both knew that this was it. It might be an ordinary story for some but it was serendipitous for us, knowing that all the heartaches, loneliness and solitude we endured are what led us to each other. Finally, we're at the right place and right time with the right person.

We're friends first, because I came off a little detached he knew it would take time but he was patient. Started with sending funny memes and reels until he gauged what I liked. Scheduled phone calls bc I dont do well in chats until it became a habit for us to call each other at that specific time and day. We talked about anything that we could expand, our theories, our day, rant abt officemates. He debated with me for fun throwing what ifs scenarios. Then he began being more physically present. Going to my office to pick me up. Taking me out on a friendly date. He wasn't flirty at first until he smoothly transitioned being INTJ x ENTP friendship to lovers bc the chemistry and the hidden tension can't be denied anyway. He made me feel secured to be with him. Like I'm free. Free to fall, to love and to be myself.

below the cut is how I ended up simping for him teheee

I was really into Oikawa. He's my first love which I learned to get over just now bc I miss Kuroo in a way I don't miss Oikawa. (Why does this sound so real?) Ngl, it's Kuroo I found to be most attractive but he seemed so unattainable for me that I did a pass. At first, I just love writing for him because a mutual loves him very much and my readers always fangirl for him in my fics and all the requests I'm getting are for Kuroo Kuroo Kuroo even if I even voluntarily write for Oikawa. Lol. I was like okaaay. Until I asked for match ups and ask games and I ended up getting him over and over again too. Tell me about it. Haha. Then I posted some selfship stuff abt Oikawa and I got nothing. I posted that I got Kuroo for an ask game and everyone just idk interacted and I was like uhmm what? Even my moots from other fandom are into the tetsurei agenda. What are these people seeing that I'm not seeing? Like yeah he's handsome and he wears suit and tie which I love but...anyway lol just lol hahaha. (Gosh, I sounded so in denial on this) It's funny that we even work in the same field. A follower even pointed it out. Tbh I still can't understand where they are coming from. As time passed by, I enjoyed our ship more than anything else. He's all I can think to write about. TBH IDK! Hahaha! This made me reread all my kuroo fics and wondered howww? I reread the oldest one back in Dec 2020. It didn't do things for me then but it gave me the feels now. I even forgot what it was but the way I wrote for him never changed. I realized that in all the Y/Ns I wrote for all the characters, I've been writing myself whenever it's with Kuroo. I just realized it now. Maybe that's why it's easier for ppl to associate him with me too bc it shows. I still dk! But whatever I love him. I'd love to have a Kuroo just for me.

I think I'm oblivious like real life oblivious. Oh well. (Good luck to all the intj simps out there: I'm talkin for Rin, Tsukki, Akaashi, Geto, Niko) We're dense af and in denial. Good luck.

[electrosair]

Helloeleoeleo i wanna join the request thing too!!! >:D

I like to listen to music and play video games in my free time :) if i have any exam or tests coming up i usually study for it around 3 weeks before so my music and video game time is cut short for the time being! After my exam/test tho i'll probably sleep in my free time to get back the ammpunt of sleep i sacrificed studying (i'll play games and listen to music too just not as much) my favorite genre of music is rnb and scenecore! (Very odd yes but it depends on my mood)

About myself and my personality.. HMMM In terms of looks i have almost long hair and average height- not too tall and not too short (still probably shorter than all the tall genshin guys tho) for persoanlity, im very clingy and can get extremely childish when i get comfortable with someone! Clingy to the point where i'd hold onto their arm and follow them- pretty much not letting them go unless if they need to hehe but before i get comfy i probably wont say more than 20 words HEBSHSHS Im very shy at first but after i get comfy im the complete opposite 😭😭

Im also very femeinine/girly girl and yes im a girl :D i like shopping makeup dressing up and all that :p i like going out with pretty clothes and pretty makeup and walking around the mall or a city :)) i talk alot whenver one of my interests gets brought up + i have adhd :>

Im also weak for guys that call me petnames like angel and pretty girl 😞 if someome ever called me that i'd malfunction tbh i also like guys that can cook and tallee than me! (For reference im around 163cm i think?)

My favorute nation is inazuma and my favorite element is hydro! It might change soon after i explore fontaine but for now inazuma is my favorite <3 i love tue scenery and music there <3<3<3

Fum fact about myself (idk if this is a fun fact tbh) i attract cats and children! But thing is im very bad with children :,) i dont know what to do or say half the time so i just stand there like 🧍‍♀️ and give a small smile to them HWDIEHID (babies sometimes scare me since they stare at me... not a lot ofc just whwnver they do i get intimidated) oh and i love cats!

(Honestly i feel like this is way too lomg and i think i made so many typos HAHAHA im so sorry 😭)

omg i have so many thoughts like i wanna match you up with 3 people but i can only choose one aaaaaaa

i love reading this requests so no worries if you think maybe it is too long, i just like knowing all of you 💔and don't worry about the typos either, i always end up checking things on the translator because i'm terrible writing in english

Diluc!

I guess that you are a very calm person and that is something that would appeal to Diluc almost immediately, and considering that on first impressions you are shy, that can only add points.

With your style of preparation with exams, and I guess other important things in your life, he would perhaps feel identified since he likes to have everything related to the vineyard business very controlled.

After you get to know each other better, I'm sure that if you grab his arm to go for a walk or take a longer walk than usual, his heart would race just to talk, the first few times he would never expect it.

I can totally see him giving you makeup or clothes that you see while on a date and you stare at them for more than 3 seconds, yes, that's enough to make him want to buy it from you. At first he would be a little more embarrassed, but then he would put it together with short letters, maybe thanking you for something or just spoiling you with sweet words.

He definitely chuckles quietly when he sees a child stare at you and your only reaction is to smile awkwardly at the kid, but let's not fool ourselves, he would probably do the exact same thing if he doesn't know the child, it would be rare for him to even smile back.

[sizhui]

hi angie!! :3c i spent my day w my sibling today and its a funny story!! anyways i kept forgetting ud alr changed ur url TTwTT

ive always been curious about it but what is it abt bl that draws u in specifically! it doesnt have to be anything profound tbh hut are there any genre specific tropes / things u enjoy n what r the other ones ud like to see or imagine will not stick around? i think i migjtve alr asked this in the past but if your opinions have changed id be curious too!!

HI DEAR LAB 😊💝 I'm glad you could enjoy a funny day with your sibling! THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME ABOUT BL it feels silly but i do love it so I'm glad to talk about it haha!

The main reason would probably be that I like - actually regardless of the gender of the person they're in love with - seeing men written as being emotional. It just makes me cheerful for some reason since in most media men always just need to be strong and cool - i love when men are dramatic and romantic and such! It's hard to find that in m/f romances, although i do enjoy a few where the woman is the cool one and the man is lovey dovey (like the king's affection hehe.) But anyways I like that men in BL are kind of idealized. This isn't to say that men irl don't have emotions, but i never really got close to any man so i didn't get to witness that so reading BL is for me kind of like observing men having feelings like a little curious scientist HAHAHA. I don't read that much of Japanese or western BL, so when discussing tropes I like and dislike I'll stick mostly to danmei conventions! I've noticed that the gong-shou dichotomy in danmei novels isn't a rly as prominent as it is in Japanese BL manga, and I enjoy that. It mostly sticks to having one guy be somewhat more proactive in pursuing the relationship (& the sexual role but i dont wanna discuss that) rather than the jarring thing where one guy is old and angular and the other looks with huge tearful eyes LMAO. Many novels also like to play with gong-shou expectations - for example, Wei Wuxian is likes to play-pursue and tease a relationship more than Lan Wangji does, but when push comes to shove Lan Wangji makes the big steps. My favorite example is probably Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu, in which Wen Kexings is the gong , but Zhou Zishu calls him his wife and he's the one who's better at cooking and looking after the kid and such. I kind of like when the Gong is the more fem one and the shou is the more masc one it's hehe. I also really like the almost ever present danmei trope of the couple adopting a young usually orphaned boy though i know that's a thing in het cdramas and cnovels too but it happens in most of the danmei novels I've read and never fails to make me kick my feet i love... family! The more dramatic the plot is with more misunderstandings and romantic twists and turns, the more I like it, but I dislike all forced situations such as "the bad guys made them do it" or "one of the guy makes a move while drunk" it's annoyingggg. But yeah anyways the point is i just love to see men .....caring. goofing around. Being silly in love . A little more joy in this world!

[jils-things]

haii :D out of curiousity if irene was a canon survivor what other skins would she have? which of the survivors (or even hunters if she has a connection to them) would she match with? O:

HELLO!!!! EEEEEE IDV QUESTIONS MY BELOVED YEYSYEYWES TY FOR COMING 💚💚💚💚 im gonna answer the lore related question first and then answer the skin question behind readmore (its very long. i like Talking.)

OKAAAAY so so ngl... i actually thought that having nort.on, irene, na.ib and emma in one manor game group is really plausible cuz they're part of my fo list (and are very much included in lore) but omg i cant handle the heartbreak naur i don't wANT THEM TO FIGHT AJWKWKENDJSJSKS🥹🥹🥹 TO BE HONEST... i can kinda see her being associated with the da ca.po group (nor.ton, me.lly, orp.heus, alice and frederick) because irene actually is connected to nor.ton and orp.heus (she does not like him). and i think the drama would be so fuckin insane here lets be real

in that same train of thought - i think that would mean she would also have to fare off against foo.ls gold and nightmare (MORE DRAMA) and that is gonna be so fucking sick . also they look like this to me i don't care (ignore the ship mention wkwkwkwkwkw) LMFAOOAOWUSHRK

ok so, irene's skins are meant to match with nort.ons skins and like 90% of my artwork consists of just them in those costumes tbh HAHAHA BUT ID BE HAPPY TO SHOWCASE THEM HERE EEEE

so i don't really care about her skins being classified as a tier, b tier etc etc, dont matter as long as shes matchy matchy with him HEHEHE

let's go off with my most recent art of it:

1) this is eidolon! she is paired with soul catcher. she's a half alive (undead?) and half dead (ghost). she appears alive in the daylight and appears dead in the nighttime :3 the drawing in the middle is my best depiction of both mixed!

2) I don't have a name for this (help me /hj), but this is meant to pair with his troubadour skin! this to me is their peak of "good life" era :3 (together and married)

3) again i dont have a good name for this either EKWKEKEKEJ but this one's meant for an alternative universe called the constantine siblings au where irene and naib are adoptive siblings (and uses the spring hand skin) and she is also paired with mr. mole! (emma also appears here, in her boudoir dream skin)

4) this one's a current work in progress but this one's meant for ronal.d of nice! ive currently settled on calling her "dame of gold", its not final but its a decent placeholder name :]

5) lastly, this one's definitely a c tier kinda skin and its meant to match his cordierite skin. fun fact, this color scheme of hers was actually her original color palette but i changed it to green and made this an alt skin~ i named it royal blue!

and that's it! i plan to do more in the future (like black tulip, cornerstone and maybe some outfits based off merchandise hehe)

BUT YE!!! THIS TOOK AWHILE TO ANSWER BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE THE CURIOSITY AHHH 💚💚💚💚

[karatekid1]

hi guysss its been a while, these days i usually just come on here if something big has happened and i dont really have anyone to tell so i just share it on tumblr. SOOOO a LOT of thing has happened since i last posted on here, when was it, like april? its october now, ive been sick for literally a month idek what it is but ive missed so much school its actually insane. anyway, me and the guy i was w yk, i broke up with him in like may, so ive actually been single since then, or like single single. Ive done things w people but not like been in a relationship w anyone, theres been a few actually, me and this guy H didnt work out, he used to bully me in high school and then suddenly out of nowhere he was in love with me? idek, omg heartstopper season 3 came out, it was so different from the other seasons, but i liked it. anyway back to my stupid guys. hmmm i reconnected w a guy from church who i used to be friends with a few years ago, we were friends for like 2 weeks then he told me i was wierd and that it wouldnt work, so yeah, and THEN i went to a party last week and i met this guy there, he was friends with my friends boyfriend, he was a year older than me tho, his name was Jonathan and we had a lot of fun together there, we kinda ended up sleeping together, and then we said bye and now i found out hes the son to my uncles best friend, like wtf are the odds,. ANYWAY i also got to know this other guy, he's so cool he plays the guitar and hes really fun, we go to the same school. Ive followed him on instagram and commented on his posts where he plays guitar, and then two weeks ago he just walked up to me in the cafeteria and said "omg its my biggest fan" and i straight up said "who the fuck are you" and then he explained and i was so confused cuz i didnt know we even went to the same school, and bc he didnt show his face on instagram so i didnt know whzt he looked like. anyway so weve been texting a lot, today hes gonna help change my guitar strings. OMFG WE'RE LITERALLY AUSTIN AND ALLY IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE. he sings and plays guitar, and i play piano and write songs, i mean i can play the guitar and drums too but still. and he was like "bring your guitar to school and ill help you fix it, then you can play for everyone there on the little stage" like bro wtf is this disney channel moment. but yeah he was joking but still, then we talked ab my job OMFG I HAVENT TOLD YOU GUYS, yeah i work at mcdonalds and we were texting about that and he was like "you should bring your guitar and play there to get some extra money" and i was like hahaha yeah on my breaks. and then he was like "i can come and play with you" LIKE OKAY? AUSTIN MOON IS THAT YOU`? but yeah so thats him, uuhhhhhh i dont think ive missed anything, or i probably have, but i cant post like a whole book as my tumblr life update post, no one even cares ab these, tbh theyre mostly for me to look back on how stupid i was, so hi future me reading this. anyway im sick again if i didnt mention, so now im just gonna be in my bed and watch like henry danger or smthn, see you guys in like another six months, or no actually i usually update more in the winter bc i always get depressed, anyway, bye for now guys

[manie-sans-delire-x]

The criminal behaviour was mostly physical assaults (on adults). I was put on risperidone for a while. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child (I’m female), but that diagnosis has been reversed in adulthood. I don’t feel as if I ever had ADHD tbh. At age 19, I moved into a healthier environment than my previous place. I did start talk therapy, but I don’t think it helped me much. My psychiatrist has suggested I have a dissociative disorder (DID). I have severe PTSD symptoms. 

I’ve never gone to prison, but as a teen I was on the Youth Offending Team (basically teen probation).

Sorry if this is too personal, but why don’t you agree with your diagnosis? 

Ah ok, ADHD can make ASPD symptoms way worse. Interesting that that also reversed!

Theres so many cases where a kid exhibiting symptoms of being abused and traumatized is mistaken as symptoms of a pathology. But once they're taken out of that environment, it can be shocking how quickly people can change and start to heal. And how damaging it is to internalize the idea that theres something wrong with them, instead of just having a normal response to a toxic environment.

Mm, I've very sorry to hear that. You must have gone through utter hell if you have DID. PTSD too of course.

Talk therapy isnt enough for extreme trauma. I recommend checking out these following therapies:

-EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) (warning: this is a quickly working but emotionally intense therapy, as it will make you recall trauma in detail. Only do this after talk therapy and when you and your therapist- who knows you well- agrees that youre ready)

-IFS (internal family systems) (roleplaying internal characters/building good relationships and internal dynamics with yourself, very similar to integration treatment for DID)

-Somatic (movement, reconnecting to the body)

-PIT (post induction therapy) (maybe?) (working on codependency, building reliance on yourself)

-CBT and DBT (changing thinking and response processes)

If you can use the website "psychologytoday" where you live, you can search for single sexy therapists in your area and use the filters to see if they practice those specific therapies. And if they take your insurance or not.

Hahaha Youth Offending Team sounds like a bad supervillain squad. Could have called it the YOT-club. Probation is such a joke.

Its fine, I just dont think my symptoms are severe enough. And I have empathy and compassion, injustice upsets me.